Hey guys,
So is been a while since I’ve been on here. Not going to lie, it’s definitely been a rollercoaster 🎢.
I’ve created a new Instagram page – @mistrysmind It’s all about acceptance and mental health. I’ll be sharing my ups and downs, as well quotes about life and motivation. Come check it out 💚
This weekly (mostly 🙈) Mental Health Monday’s will be more like my diary. Just what’s going on and what’s triggering me. Also any solutions I’ve discovered. I think it might help people who have friends or relatives struggling but don’t actually understand what goes on, on a day-to-day basis. So here goes…
It’s been about a month since I started my new job. It’s difficult, fun, crazy and super interesting. It’s been difficult at the train station recently, especially a main large train station. I feel as though I keep getting in the way of people and mess up their routes to wherever they are going. As if people are seriously judging where I’m walking or which route I’m taking, or what I’m wearing, as if they are constantly staring at me. I feel like what I’m writing sounds ridiculous because that’s how I feel, yet somehow it still makes my heart beat faster, my mouth extremely dry and I make sure my eyes are down and headphones are in. Some days are so difficult that I cannot wait to get to work and just hide in the locker room for a little bit.
I also feel as though I’ve lost more faith in humanity. I mean I have seen some absolutely disgusting behaviour from humans, from yelling obscenities to staff to cutting nails in public and leaving them on the floor 🤢. I mean what is wrong with people?! Have we lost humanity and humility? I definitely am a person who is sensitive to words and when someone really insults me for no justifiable reason it gets to me quite deep and I just start feel low and worthless. I mean is my being really making any difference to anyone? Then I feel myself wanting to go curl up and just remove myself from any kind of human interaction. Words are so hurtful, just a small reminder to be cautious of what you’re saying as it can really hurt someone. Especially when you don’t actually know what’s going on with the person.
Honestly, music has been a lifesaver for me, especially at the station. It helps me drown people out and put myself in my own little world. Upbeat Bollywood songs have definitely been my go to! It just helps me ignore my surroundings enough to get to my destination without ending up having a panic attack. The only time it affects me negatively is when I don’t really notice my surroundings and get in the way of people. Thank God I don’t travel in rush hour 😳
I’ve heard a lot about lavender oil and it’s calming properties. Not going to lie but I used to hate the smell of it so I never looked into it. But recently I encountered it and it wasn’t too bad. I’m definitely going to give it a go to try and calm my anxiety in those situations. Just haven’t exactly figured out how to use it yet. I worry that what if other people don’t like the smell of it and it makes them uncomfortable. I don’t want to do that to another person at all.
Any ideas?
Thank you so much for reading and I hope it made some kind of difference to you.
Much love, Kiran ..xKx..
Mistry’s Makeup 